Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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