do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
