Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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