The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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