Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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