Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
