he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
