apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
