I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
