so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
