i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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