Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
