Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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