Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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