That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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