the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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