When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
