11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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