I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
