at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
