guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
