I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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