My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
