He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
