woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
