No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
