have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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