Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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