rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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