haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
