Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
