here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
