brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
