I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
