went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
