I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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