i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
