scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
