she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
