Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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