I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
