the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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