He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
