Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
