i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
