i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
