Plan B is the new Plan A
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
