I've blown a few things in my day
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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