I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
