yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
